woot, a whole ummm 6 months? yeah about that, I would go back and edit the day/time thing and make it look like I wasent such a lazyass slacker and update this thing but hey, I'm a slacker at heart so onward and well backwards, so whats gone on over the last 6 months, well sam and I broke up so that she could move to colorado, to finish school, decided that she was going to do that one afternoon without talking to me at all, she up and left a week later, well she came back not a month after that, didnt ever even register for school, and dumbass me, when she came back we got back together, it faild a month later when she told me that she needed time to get over a cousion she never talks about getting some kinda tumor, pulled the feel sorry for me shit and I lost it, first actual fight we ever really had, gave her shit back to her and I'm done with it, I dont want anything to do with her. thats the abreivated version of things with her, ummm I'm going to ICC now, for automotive, not a bad program eccept that I have to be there at 8 in the morning which means getting up at about 6:15, now that I'm off overnights its not sooo bad so everything is getting peachier, I drove in the demo derby in august, didnt make the final but did damn well for a rookie, took 4th in my heat and top 3 went to the main, I got screwed in my opnion but nothing I could do about it, besides I got a trophy for being real agressive and beating out alot of bigger cars in my lil ole mercury commet all in good fun anyways, ummm I'm not soo stable anymore, lost my drivers licence over a bs ticket so I can almost never get outta my house, at least I'm getting stuff done around here but anyways, I was in class the other day and I grabbed this old organizer outta my bag, flipped it open to actually start using it, but it turns out I had stoped writing in it just before I lost Kristen, so for the weeks before her death I had everything that was going on and everything that we did together in it, so much for making progress with the whole thing, going on 2 years since it happend and I still love her, I'm starting to think that she was the one for me, you know, the one person that is totally right for you in everyway, soulmate even, this is going to make heaven really hard for me, if there is one and if I'm married before I die, I mean your supposed to want to spend eternity with the person you marry, but I already know who I want, maybe I should just slip into the beyond, spend it there with her, I know she would want to, she loved me as much as I loved her, ohhh well, enough of that I cant talk about it anymore right now, I'm going to go pass out, or watch tv, not quite sure which yet, overnight tv sucks on thursdays so I'm not quite sure what I'm going to do