Well, its over with Sam, yay in a good way but she has to just let go and say dumb shit like always, be pissed at me, call me a prick, call me a liar, that's fine, I don't fucking care, but talk about Kristin, don't bring her into your problems, that's taking shit about 5 steps too far, "...Someone who would rather be with their girlfriend who shot herself than me" grow the fuck up, always saying that I can't blame myself, well, who is to blame then? she needed someone to be there and I fucked up, I wasent there, hmmm, not to play the blame game but if anyone is to blame its me but she had to fucking go there didn't she, sure maybe it seems like I'm cold, I'm heartless but you said it was over, I'm all about letting people do what they want, letting them be themselves, I'm just along for the ride, but come on, she knows how much that topic hurts, how much I loved her, if you've got a problem with ME, then leave it at ME, don't drag her fucking into this, she did nothing to you, if anything she made me the guy you fell in love with, so fuck off, without her there wouldn't have been us, nothing, I would still be the quiet kid, takes no risks, lives for this hope that if I live right today that tomorrow will be better, well, its not going to be better, what about tomorrow? fuck tomorrow, I don't need plans, I don't need commitments, I don't need you and your shit to make me happy, you however needed me, but not my shit, well it comes and one big package, if you couldn't handle my baggage then you shouldn't have got involved, I told you what would happen, I told you that I couldn't help it, that I didn't want to talk but you just didn't understand, never tried, always assumed that I was like you, but one of your friends got killed and you got over it, but this is DIFFERENT, maybe not to you but to me it is, I was in love with her, I don't think you even know what love is, its not the word that comforts you when someone's not there, its not what we had, sure, I had my moments, I could have loved but you always beat me up for who I was, that I couldn't handle life sometimes, that I didn't want people around when it happened I needed time, sure I'd get a day here and there never could accept that I'd call you when I was though it, ohhh, he wont call I better do it for him, dumb bitch, ok, fuck this I've had it, I'm done bitching I don't care anymore, whats one more sleepless night, errr, dammit, pills are upstairs, which means I cant get them, errrrr fuck, maybe I'll make a trip somewhere, anywhere but here