so I'm back again, its 6:30 now and still no sleep in sight for me, its like I'm tired and everything but when I lay down or close my eyes my mind races, or its like I cant keep my thoughts calm enought to ever get close to sleep.  drugs would work for a situtation like this but once I start taking something I never seem to stop, sure, it starts out as taking 2 or 3 pills, tylenol pm or codine or whatever will knock me out, but I keep poping them about every 15 or 20 minutes, usually I've taken about 7 or 8 tylenol pm's before I finally pass out, that cant be good for you, I dont take codine anymore, I refuse to even use what I had left from when I had some teeth pulled a while back, I took 10 one night, it was horrible, I'm lucky to still be here.  the horrible part is its not just sleeping pills that this happens with, I mean I do the same thing with pain killers, kinda supprising, the effects are quite similar when you get into real high doses, taking 9 advill in a 5 hour period is about like taking 5 sleeping pills eccept when you do fall asleep with advil its not as deep, you wake up and get startled easily but your still kinda a vegitable, moving is hard and your limbs feel heavy, sometimes you stop breathing to swallow or something and forget to start again.  anyways, enough of all that stuff, I'm going to go get the paper and read, yes I said read, hey at least I'll be doing something semi-productive rather than staring at the wall kicking myself in the ass for everything I've done wrong, or things I wish I would have done, or whatever happens to be running circles around my warped little mind.